Life of Blinque

Yesterday

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 01:26:30 GMT

I know, SUCH an interesting subject, right?

Well yesterday I worked. It wasn't a long shift so I could handle it no problem. Near the end of it there were these two girls in line. I don't think they were dating, but one of them was definitely bi at least. She was pretty thin, dressed as a boy with boy hair and all. Absolutely ADORABLE. Well I rang them up, chatted with them for a few before they head out, and thought that would be that.

Well, the more tomboy-esque one came back in and very shyly asked me if I could turn $0.75 worth of nickels and dimes into 3 quarters. I'm ringing someone up so I go 'Oh don't worry about it hun, drawer should be open soon.' Sure enough, the customer pays with a credit card so the drawer doesn't open. I can't open the drawer without CSM approval, so I ring up the next customer and STILL they pay with a credit card.

I tell her I'm sorry, she says it's okay, and I lead her to the service desk where there's a register they can open whenever they need to. She was just so...shy and quiet, and cute about it. I can't help but get the feeling that she wanted to say something but got too nervous.

I really, REALLY wanted to talk to her more. I'm kicking myself for not asking her for her name at least. She's just makes me go 'awwwww'...

Right after I got off work Rachel and Amber drug me to this party going on the middle of nowhere. Tents are set up, and turns out we're camping out. This 'Adam' guy slinks over and sits next to me. Rachel tells me he's been asking about me all night, and I'm kind of excited to meet him. Don't worry guys, nothing happened, nothing went down, it was just nice to meet someone who was really respectful to me for a change. :]

Today I was just plain busy. Yard work and sleep deprivation. Yay.

Anyways, I hope I run into this girl sometime again. She was just ADOWABLE AND I WANT TO MEET HER!

Fursona Meme

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 16:26:06 GMT

1 – Do you and your "fursona" look alike?
Mostly, I think. I'm not AS curvy or wide-hipped as I draw Blinque to be, but it's what I would LIKE to look like. Also Blinque had purple hair, with green even for the longest time. I've NEVER had purple or green hair, but it's what I've always wanted. However, I plan on drawing her with my actual hair style, and possibly hair color, it's still up in the air. I like her to look like me, but at the same time she makes up my ideal self.

2 – Do you and your "fursona" share attires?
For the most part yes. :] I wear knee socks, tank tops, and men's pants/shorts quite often. When you see her with a studded or spiked collar though, that's a LIE. Unfortunately my spiked collar was damaged when I was walking home in the rain one day. Thought my hood would protect my neck, but sadly it did not. ;-; I'll have to get another one soon then.

3 – Do you share the same sexuality as your fursona?
Yes! Although sometimes I draw Blinque male, it's what I would have liked to be. I was/am going through this identity crisis. I've accepted the fact that I'm female, but it's still nice to think that in some small way I can be male too.

4 – If you hadn’t already made your fursona look like you, if you would to change how she looked like to make him/her look more like you, how would you think he/she would look like?
- A slight upgrade in pudge, hehe.

5 – Did you work hard to develop your fursona? What is the (brief) history of your fursona?
- Well, uhm... I love felines of all shapes/sizes, and I love dragons. It was only a matter of time before I put the two together. :3 First she had brown hair like me, but that was short lived since it looked awful and didn't match her color scheme. Then I made it purple. Recently I added green to her hair, but her hair might be changing soon anyways due to my haircut and recently dying it a reddish color. She's always had her rainbow plates, she's always been black and white. So over the years, Blinque hasn't changed a considerable amount. OH! I've added her piercings as I've gotten them in real life. I've considered making her tail short and stumpy, changing her fur, but I've never actually done it. I've just fallen for her as she is, it's how I see my ideal self and I don't think she's going to completely change any time soon.

6 – Do you and your fursona share relationship status?
- Normally yes. Even when I was dating a non-fur way back, I invented a fursona that suit him so I could draw the two together.

7 – Do you find yourself jealous or upset if you get paired with someone you don’t like or your partner does?
I don't quite understand the question. o.O Are we talking about art? Relationships?

8 – How would you like your character not to be used?
- Please don't draw porno of me if I haven't said it's okay. ;-; -Whines- Blinque raep is NEVER FUN.

9 – What’s your fursona’s specialty?
- Shitting and vomiting rainbows! Hell, I don't know. I draw her as I feel I should whenever I feel like it. I'd like to think of her as a partial shifter (since dragons in legend DO have the ability to assume different forms), which means she can take the form of a fish, but it's a black and white fish with rainbow markings.

10 – At a score of 1-10 how much are you and your fursona alike?
- I'd like to think an 8 or 9 out of 10. She's my ideal self. She has the clothes, piercings, and personality that I do. You can't get much closer than that. 83

Toony

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 05:32:01 GMT

So I've been drawing here and there. Very little though, just to relax considering I've been busy almost on a daily basis. x_x

My #1 Goal right now: Simplify my style. (Create an alternate style I guess, I'll never lose track of how to draw like I've always drawn.) I don't want to be so...anime? I want to stick out, I guess is what I'm saying. I don't want my style to just blend in with everyone else's.

So I thought I should attempt something cute. DEAR GOD, I've never drawn myself so cute and...girly. >.>;

PS - She wants hugs. GIVES HUGS NAO PLZ! And oh yeah, my hair...made it more like my irl hair, but I don't know if it's a permanent change or not yet.

Beep Boop!

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 04:53:26 GMT

Thanks guys for your comments. I'm going to def have to look into some of those shows. And yes, Angry Beavers and Road Rovers were THE SHIT. As well as Swat Kats. I love them too. <3

ANYWAYS. I worked a 9 hour shift today. My feet are SOREASFUCK OHGODWHY. I work tomorrow til 10, but at least I get to sleep in. Sunday off, Monday I work early morning. x_x I just wish I had a consistent schedule, it'd make making plans a WHOLE LOT EASIER. XAVIER COME KIDNAP ME SOON PLZ?

I'm just going insane. I live in the middle of nowhere. You should all learn how to teleport and come visit meeee! 8D Need MOAR LOCAL FRIENDS. Hopefully Rach and I can hook up Sunday. We're supposed to discuss when we're getting our tattoos.

Yes, I'm getting a tattoo, but where? I was thinking my hip but I've heard that's particularly painful, at least for a first tattoo. So I dunno, any suggestions? It's going to be small, and circular shaped, but I'm not telling anybody what it is yet. x3 keke.

PS - JINU, OTTER, JORAN, SILLY 'NANA, AIMEEEEEEEE. Miss you guys, kay? -Grabby paws-

Cartoons!

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 02:58:38 GMT

So I'm just chattin' with Chinchy and discussing cartoons. I just got my paws on 'My Life As A Teenage Robot', considering it was one of my favorites. Sadly, it's been canceled since then, but at least they squeezed a third season out of it. I'm a fan of Avatar, but now that's over too. ;-;

Yes, I do love cartoons. I'm still a kid sometimes hehehe.

:D You guys watch any cartoons you'd like to recommend? I've seen nothing but mostly crap out there these days.

Waffles! And YIM.

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:51:39 GMT

Jinu made me waffles this morning. They were BLUBERRY. 8D

Anyways. Last night me n' Wil went on web cam and talked to a few of his friends. He introduced me to one of his friends that lives in Dakota I think? Anyways he's cool. Cute too! lol. I might get YIM. Anybody on here have it and would like to talk?

Yeah I know, I'm all over the place. I need caffeine. -Grabby paws at Full Throttle-

I have been TRYING to draw but not making much progress. I'm hoping to have my scanner back soon so I can finally update my FREAKING FA.

PS - When I say don't talk to me hun, that means texts too! Now shoo shoo!

Robin Hood

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 04:13:04 GMT

Maid Marian is hott. 8D End of story.

On another note, trying to draw more toony. Trying of drawing so anime-esque all the time. Any ideas/suggestions?

And Hollywood Undead's 'Everywhere I Go' has been stuck in my head the past few days. GO LISTEN TO IT NAOOOO! -Smack-

Ecstacy by ATB

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 17:32:26 GMT

It's funny, just as I start typing this song starts playing on iTunes. Anyways, Ecstacy by ATB was Lawrence's and my song. For those of you who don't know me very well, Lawrence was my first serious boyfriend. He was true love for me, and I feel like ever since then I've been hungry to feel that way again. Sure, there would be times where I'd have that with somebody else for a short amount of time, but things quickly change and I realize that maybe I never truly loved as much as I loved him.

It's weird, actually. I haven't thought about him in a long time. I used to cry when I heard this song, now I just smirk and wish I could've done things differently back then. Maybe I'd still be happy today. But, you can't live in the past, just look to the future. My point of bringing him up, being that I've been having dreams about him lately. Almost on a nightly basis. They'll come out of nowhere too. And we'll just apologize and hook back up.

We ended on bad terms and we cut off communication with eachother. Some people have been saying that maybe I'm having these dreams because I just need to make amends. He really WAS an important part of my life, and I wish we could've stayed friends. He was THE most important part of my life for nearly 3 years, so I guess it's not too abnormal for me to think about him here and there.

But what I've come to realize is that now, I'm 'falling in love' left and right, every new relationship I feel like I could just spend the rest of my life with the person down the road. I expect to love again, like I did him, but things just don't work that way.

Am I ashamed to admit I rely more on being in a relationship than most people? Yes. But acceptance and admitting to a problem is the first step in fixing it, right?

I need to stop, slow down, and regain the self esteem I had way back when before I move on. How Lawrence made me feel, how many others made me feel, was like a drug I became addicted to. Do I regret loving those who I have loved? No. Do I regret not seeing things sooner? Of course I do. People make mistakes, and I am no different. It's just moving on now.

Anyways I'm taking this day off to go visit a few friends in Pittsburgh I haven't seen in a very, VERY long time. I need to clear my head. Friends are just perfect for that. <3

Get OUT of my life.

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 00:04:14 GMT

I'm fuming. Like, really fucking pissed. Why? Because instead of just being honest with the people around him, some douchebag thinks it's okay to make up stories that are completely different than what ACTUALLY happened, and then blab to people who DON'T know me, so they're just that much more believable.

FUCK YOU. I'm tired of being taken for a fool. You think you're clever, right? Well you've lost me in every aspect. Not only as a girlfriend, but as a friend too. You can kiss my ass, I'm through with this immature bullshit.

You wanted someone to listen to you? You had it. You wanted someone to understand you? You had it. You wanted someone who was willing to talk through things with you, and be honest with you? You had that too. Now congratulations, you've got jack shit now.

I don't know why he did it. To regain some dignity? To feel like a bigger person, a macho man? Who the fuck knows. All I know now is lying is something I WILL NEVER tolerate, friend, boyfriend, or acquaintance.

I'm done with you. I'm disgusted to have felt you'd change a single thing. Self improvement? If lying to people about what actually happened is an improvement, you're moving in the WRONG direction. But what do I know? I'm just one of the most patient, forgiving people you've ever fucking met. And you KNOW that. Way to take advantage.

When I'm your friend, girlfriend, whatever, I'm fucking loyal as a dumb dog. I won't lie to you, I won't disrespect you, I won't treat you as anything other than an equal, another human being. And because of this, a lot of people take advantage of me. After having my self esteem crushed into a bloody pulp again and again, I've decided I'm done.

I deserve better in my life, as far as friends AND boyfriends/girlfriends come. I don't think very highly of myself, but I know that I don't deserve to be treated like fucking dirt.

I've never been anything less than a fucking gentleman to you. I always told you how great I thought you were, and I was nothing less of affectionate, LOVING even.

Not everybody is going to agree with you. Not everybody is going to like what you have to say, and not everybody is going to forgive you all the time. YOU, like the rest of us, fuck up sometimes. And YOU, have to take the blame sometimes too. I KNOW I'm not perfect, but I sure as hell tried to be, just as I try to be for my friends, for my family, for the people I love.

So things are MY fault? You walked away from ME? Right, because you're fucking PERFECT. Nobody could EVER see anything wrong with you, nobody could EVER walk away from you. So, logically speaking, you must have walked away from ME, right? Fuck it. It's one thing to vent to me to my face, to shit talk TO me and TELL me what I did wrong. But to feed your BULLSHIT to people? Even I'm impressed, this is an all time low.

Never talk to me. Again.

UGH TIIIIIRED.

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 21:00:35 GMT

-Crawls into her chair and collapses over the computer desk- Good GOD I'm tired. I had a long day at work, well, it felt much longer considering I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night and I worked an earlier shift, making things less busy and actually boring.

The power went out this morning so it inconvenienced me. But, meh, I got through it I guess. Just got kinda irritated since at this time it was dark outside, so there wasn't much lighting anywhere.

The second I got into the car my back started acting up again.

Oh well, I work tomorrow then have wed and thur off. I'm looking forward to this little break. I def need to rest my back though, I don't know if I should really plan on doing anything outside the house for the next few days. (Other than work, of course.)

On another note I ran into Goober from McDonalds at Walmart. He seemed pretty happy to see me. We joked back and forth like old times. :] I miss that boy, I really really do.

I'm hoping Wednesday me n' Nick can walk around downtown Slippery Rock like old times. Y'know, mooch off the dollar menu at McDonalds and check out some of the local shops. But not for too long, my back can't take it lol.

As far as life itself goes I've been thinking a lot lately. As to who my friends are, and who are the people I actually want in my life anymore? I've decided I'm probably not going to be going to a party I was invited too next month. The guy seems to be a bit of a pig and is most likely going to be expecting more from me than I'm willing to give. I'm also tired of being stressed out by the people that I FORCE myself to talk to. I've got a large handful of people here for me when I need them, they're plenty enough for me. I don't need any negativity, or extra baggage that's going to just weigh me down, right?

<3 Catch you later. :]

Hair Photos (Finally)

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 00:51:29 GMT

So a few of you still haven't seen my new hurr. I'm just excited, never had short hair before. x3 -Giddily flails-

So yeah. Don't have many pictures for you, but this should be enough. Just note it's shorter in the back, like, quite a bit shorter. I like it! 8D A LOOOOT.

Best part is I change my part on a daily basis now, and my bangs go from swooshing one direction, to the other, to in the middle. Bahaha. I like being able to switch it up with no effort. :] Excuse me, I'm going to go back to being fascinated with my hair like a 5 year old.

This is my favorite hat. As well as my brother acting terrified in the background. 8D

:] Steelers <3

'Cousin It' died on Steph's floor. ;-; Oh wait no, that's ALL THAT WAS TAKEN OFF OF MY HEAD.

OHGODWHY.

Meh, low image quality. That's what I get for submitting it through LJ. >_>

Ghostriders, LOL IT SUCKS THERE.

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 14:53:53 GMT

If anybody lives up around here, you'll know that Ghostriders is the BIGGEST HICK CLUB IN ANYWHERE EVER. Seriously, all they play is COUNTRY, you walk in and EVERYBODY DOES THE SAME EXACT DANCE IN LIKE 3 LINES ALL NIGHT LONG.

So yesterday I ended up calling off work because my back was freaking KILLING ME. Every time there's a season change my shoulders and upper back tighten up. It happened Friday while I was working, and come yesterday morning I couldn't even get up without feeling amazing amounts of pain. Well, Xavier lent me some tips which helped. Took a long warm shower, but it still wasn't a good idea for me to work a 9 hour shift that day..

Anyways, after laying around all night like an idiot, completely bored out of my mind staring at the cieling, I get a text from Rachel. She's like 'Amber just got her tattoo and we're on our way to a restaurant down in SR, wanna join?' I figure hell why not, might as well. SO BAM, hurried up, got dressed, ran out the door to meet them.

Got a quick bite to eat. Had an incredibly cute waiter who apparently was being extra nice to me. (We even joked about throwing his tip on the floor and yelling 'WORK FOR IT, BEND OVER' but sadly I didn't even have the guts to go that far bahaha.) I took some advil right before I left the house so I really wasn't hurting too bad at that point. So I go 'I want to do something tonight.' First we were gonna go to Chuck E. Cheese's, but realized they closed in 15 minutes. Then Amber suggests 'Ghostriders'.

Are you...being serious?

Then a wonderful idea dawns on all of us. I HATE country. And Rachel/Amber don't listen to it often. We figure 'hell, we should go and dress like complete assholes', considering the last time Rachel went she wore a tye dye and got angry glares from half the people there. So we swing back by my house. I dress in a pair of tight faded black jeans, a lowcut zebra striped tank, a whole crapload of wristshit, thick black eyeliner, and my black beanie (with visor thingie) with white skulls all over it and a cute-ass vest from hot twatpick. LOL THIS WAS GOING TO BE AMAZING.

So we get there, and instantly all the glances and confused are heading my way. Everybody is dancing in unison on the dance floor. Amber/Rachel are nervous at first, neither really knowing how to dance. But here's my secret, neither do I. Bahaha. We dragged Rachel out onto the dance floor and just started flailing, doing the macarena, doing that dumbass dance from the 'Thriller' music video, and just all around being retarded. We can't stop laughing, we stick out like sore thumbs, I was having a good time making a fool of myself and confusing all of these country people. Some of which, I despised from high school by the way.

We decide to play Pool. Tony was nice enough to bring up his poolsticks and I decide to sit out considering I'm no good at it. Before I know it this shy kid walks up to me and asks me to dance. I think it's adorable, he can't keep his eyes off his feet, so I decide to give him this dance. Turns out he's a 15 year old 9th grader. Rachel joked, calling him my pet since he followed us around the club for the remainder of my night. It was adorable though, it reminded me a lot of when my brother's friends would attempt to poorly flirt with me when they were all in middle school.

Anyways we ended the night by heading to sheetz and I bought everybody donuts. Walking out I recognise this guy stumbling around outside his car. Tony's talking to him and I recognise him from high school. I put the box of donuts on my head and walk over on my tiptoes like an absolute retard considering I'm now suffering from a sugar high and I'm sleep deprived. I walk up to him, gently tap him on the shoulder, and he stumbles. "Hey, are you on something?" "I'm so drunk right now." As if I couldn't tell, the slightest touch sent him flying back almost onto his ass. Tony handshakes him, says bye, and we get into the car and Tony speeds off.

I wanted to alert the security guard, since drunk driving is NEVER COOL. Tony goes 'I just need to get as far away from his as possible, I don't need him driving up on my ass because he will, and that would NOT be a good accident.'

We get back, I pop a few more advil since things are catching up to me, and Tony gives me a decent backrub as Rachel and I blab and reminisce about the night. It was a good night. And I wake up this morning to find most of my back pain gone. I'm doing pretty good, happy even. This was just what I needed to brighten my spirits. Hopefully it lasts. :)

She won't put out, let's make out with her friends.

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 03:49:42 GMT

PS - Subject of this journal is part of the song I'm listening too atm. x3 Hehe.

So anyways here was my to do list after work.

[x] Cash paycheck and buy some white undershirts/tank tops
[x] Get home and eat something.
[x] Watch the last episode of Avatar (and sniffle but NOT CRY, LIKE A REAL MAN.)
[x] Clean self, and promptly sniff hands for five minutes like a creep because of this orgasmic body lotion I got a few days ago.
[ ] GET SOME FUCKING SLEEP.

Anyways, as you can see there's one thing left to do tonight. I should PROBABLY prepare for my 9 hour work day tomorrow by folding up my uniform and setting everything aside. But alas, I'm lazy, my back/feet hurt, and I'd rather just curl up here with the lappy for a few and chat with my peeps. x3

I've had a few friends keep me company lately. Thanks Jonny for keepin' me calm and my mind off of things. And thanks Xavier for the tips on what to do with my back, they really helped, as my falling asleep on the couch proves hehehe.

On a more serious note:
Don't not talk to me and expect us to be good friends. Don't hit on me every time we DO talk. Don't go around saying things about me that aren't true because you want people to feel sorry for you. And don't take me to be an idiot.

I AM IN DIRE NEED OF REST. SO yes. Everyone bombard me with texts tomorrow. ;-; Since, y'know, I can't make that furmeet. -Weeps and runs off- See ya everyone!

Haircut, Life, Etc!

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 04:46:50 GMT

Wow, I am so tired right now. Right after I post this I'm probably gonna be going to bed. Only to get up in the morning and go right back to work. Hey, the paycheck will be worth it right?

Anyways Walmart has been going beautifully. Better than any job I've had in the past. And luckily, nobody's caught on to my hidden labret retainer. So it looks like I'm cheating and keeping my piercing. ;D Hopefully nobody EVER finds out. I've noticed it tightens up if I have nothing in it FOR A SINGLE HOUR. Shit, that closes at an unnaturally quick pace.

As I announced like a retard I was getting my hair cut short. I got it done. 8D I want to submit pictures but I'm not on my computer right now, I'm on my mom's lappy. Sooo, I'll show you guys next time. But my friends who have seen it said it looked really cute on me, so I'm pleased. -Dances around like a nut-

I haven't had much time to draw, so I'm behind on commissions. But people have gotta understand, my serious life and serious job come before the doodles I do on the side. I'm working through it guys, just very slowly. I have some things I want to scan and put on FA, but my parents kind of have my scanner right now. Long story short, they dont' have one and think what's mine is theirs. -Sigh- So whateverrr. They can do what they want.

On a random note, a buddy of mine just told me I'm adorable and he has no idea why I'm single. WHY? BECAUSE FURRIES ARE GAY AND PEOPLE ARE DOUCHES AND -huff huff huff- -VENT VENT VENT- Bla. So yes, touchy subject. All is well though. I just miss my friends more than anything. I've been so busy I haven't had the chance to spend much time with anybody. u_u And I feel like a dumbass. On the way home from work today I pulled out my cellphone to call and say goodnight to someone. I'm like 'wait, what? I have no one to say goodnight too, I'm a freaking retard.'

I MISS PEOPLE. I'M SO RONERY. COME VISIT ME, EVEN AT WALLY WORLD. -Flails-

P.S - Amongst much other dirty talk, Rachel was talking to me about weiners. ;_; Apparently everybody needs laid. GAHHH -Retardation ensues-

O_O Short Hair?!

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 18:00:58 GMT

So I was supposed to head down to Pittsburgh today to hang out with Xavier, Joran, Jinu and a few others, but sadly I wasn't able to schedule a ride home. D: But I REALLY need to get out of the house today. My thoughts are driving me CRAZY. So, I'm heading over to Steph's today with Rachel. They're local, and Tony doesn't mind driving me around. As long as he doesn't try to sexify me he's okay to be around. >_>;

Steph's chopping my hair off. Yep. I'm getting it cut short. When I say short, I'm planning on shorter than chin length. It'll be dyed too. Nothing crazy, because Walmart sucks a dead dog's dick sideways on Christmas. But yep, I'll be posting pictures within the next few days. Wish me luck.

I've never had short hair in my entire life. >_> I'm ready for a change. Anyways, I'm off.

Catch you guys later!

Sleep help!

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 07:03:33 GMT

So I went to bed at a reasonable hour, but I woke up a few hours later and I'm having a hard time falling back asleep. @-@ I was just curious, what do you guys normally do when you can't sleep? Hot tea? Count sheep?

I usually have a bowl of cereal and that knocks me out. Sadly it doesn't seem to be working this time around. >_>

Thanks guys!

P.S - I probably won't see any responses by the time I finally do crash, but still leave tips. I can use them for next time. 8D

Single, Parties, Art, Etc:

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 18:52:46 GMT

Pandy said it, so I'll say it too, I'm single. Not that I enjoy announcing it, but I don't need another 'so how are you and your boyfriend?' Truth is, I don't have one. That does not mean I'm looking for another. I like just going solo, and I think I'll want that for a while. I've dealt with too much strain to just want to dive into another relationship. I'm tired of things I can avoid dealing with I guess. We'll just leave it at that.

On another note I'm still busy with things around the house. I've began to gradually fill up another sketchbook. Trying to force myself to do 2 sketches a night so I'm prepared and ready for the next con. Overall I've been able to keep up, but the past few nights I've been busy with some things, including being my mom's slave and hanging out with Rachel, Steph and Amber which I haven't done in forever.

Not yesterday, but the day before I get call from Rachel. "OMG YOU NEED TO COME OVER EVERYBODY WANTS TO SEE YOU AND I'M GETTING STUFF FOR SMORES AND BEER AND LOLOLLLFJDKLSFJDLJSFD" Hm. A bonfire, you say? MOM I'M GOING OUT. -Flies upstairs to get dressed-

Amber was cool enough to pick me up on her way back from the mall. The second we got back she mixed a few 'Shamrock' drinks. I may or may not have done some taste testing, but be reassured, I was perfectly fine with being completely sober and watching a slightly buzzed Rachel and Amber dance to Robin Hood Men In Tights. I look over to Steph and she just facepalmed.

Tony was around but not for long, he had another party to go to. Which is a good thing, considering the second he got home and I was there, he went and took his shirt off to flaunt how thin he is and try to start the fire with a flare (LOLDUMB). He's so charming....NOT REALLY AND HE'LL NEVER GET INTO MY PANTS. NEVERRRRR! -Hisses and hides under a rock-

A few other people swung by and we all had a pretty good time. I crashed on the floor while talking to Steph about ghosts and creepy things. >_>; I need to stop discussing those things when it's pitch black every which way.

Steph also agreed to cut my hair sometime this coming week. She graduated from some school for it, and she's cut EVERYBODY'S hair but mine hehe. She wanted to add the crazy colors I like, but due to Walmart (grumble) I'll have to put it off. But it will be a darker brown, and it will be short. SHORT. Don't know exactly what I'm doing with it yet, but it needs to be shorter. I'm tired as hell of this long ass hair.

Rachel also dealt with a lot of drama with Joei. Who texted me wanting to go clubbing, just the two of us. Yeah, right. I think she's just trying to be buddy buddy with me again so I don't take Rachel's side on anything, which she has done before. Why would I bother associating with people who lie to me, manipulate me, and talk smack on me when I've got plenty more people in my life who are there for me when I need them? 8D Yeah, didn't sound right to me either.

She's just one of those people who live in a fantasy world, as she does nothing wrong and everything is always everybody else's fault. There are a few people like this that I talk to, and to be honest I'm tired of it. If you lose something, it's your fault. If you break a promise or do the wrong thing, it's your fault. If somebody is mad at you for something you did or said, it's your fault. If you lie, it's your fault. All in all, people need to start taking responsibility for their own actions. It's part of the reason I don't think people change because 9/10 times it's all an illusion and nothing ever really changes. It's part of the reason I'm much less forgiving than I used to be. And it's part of the reason I've been watching who I confide in lately.

But hell, who cares? I should be swinging around Pittsburgh again sometime this week. Getting out of the house really helps take my mind off of these things. I look forward to going on another few hour long walk with my friends in the middle of the night, looking over the city and hanging out at the point. It relaxes me.

Plus, Will and I need to have another DRAWING SESSION. I would like to hang out with Scathe too soon, as he's a blast to draw with. I miss Joran and Jinu and Will and Scathe and Joel and OHGOD I WANT TO VISIT NAOOO!

But first things first. Finish mom's projects, work more on commissions, and feel better. Yeah I feel kinda sick. Everybody send me e-chicken soup! Walmart orientation is FINALLY scheduled for Wednesday. I'm nervous, so everybody wish me luck! Speaking of Walmart, they don't allow facial piercings, nor do they allow piercing retainers. My labret closes after 4 hours, so I don't know what I'm going to do. Was thinking of getting a slightly shorter post of a retainer, and wearing it backwards so nobody can see I'm wearing one but my piercing stays open.

That's the end of this ridiculously long journal having to do with very little. So I'll catch you all later! See ya! <333

Merf.

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 16:34:09 GMT

So I haven't been online in a few days. Aside my lack of motivation, my mom's kept me fairly busy around the house. The convention was great while it lasted, now to get back to living in the middle of nowhere. Commissions are taking longer to get done than I thought considering my mom also gave me two projects to help out with. 1) The website for her business, 2) The invitations for my aunt's baby shower. I'm running around frantic ripping my hair out because not only does it feel like there's not enough hours in the day anymore, it takes a few hours after I wake up before I feel motivated enough to get anything done. Anxiety perhaps? Psh. :P

I'm getting ready to head down to Pittsburgh. I'm not completely slacking though, I'll be working on the art for the baby shower invites in illustrator courtesy of Ninja-kitty's laptop and Otterface's tablet. xD I'll be home at a fairly early hour tomorrow, and I'll get back to work.

I hate to keep putting commissions off, but family first, plus, she rides my ass IN PERSON. Can't beat that, lol. :]

In other news my phone is like 'LOL FUCK YOU BLINQUE' and is glitching out...again. I don't know if I need to update it again or what, but it's starting to piss me off. Texts are getting to me later and later, and sometimes I don't get them at all. Sometimes they won't send either. So if I haven't been responding or texting, you guys know why.

I've gotten back into the habit of playing DDR. Only then did I realize how out of shape I've become over the past few months. >-> Time to rid myself of this hibernation fat, I need to get back into shape! God I feel like an inflated version of my former self at the moment. Self esteem boost, anyone? ANYONE? AHH!

So yes. I'll be posting stuff to FA soon. :] Why? Because you touch yourself at night, that's why.

School

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 03:06:11 GMT

I still plan on going to CCAC in the fall, although my move might have to wait until Spring. Whatever it takes, I'll be there soon. I'll have my license within the next month too if things go as planned. -Waves fist angrily- SOMEDAY, PARALLEL PARKING, I WILL CONQUER YOUUUU!

I'll be meeting with a councelor sometime during the week to see what classes will/will not transfer from my current school, and where I will be going for my summer semester.

-Sigh- Busy busy busy. I hope walmart calls back soon. I want to just get working damnit!

-Runs around in circles flailing- So much to do, SO LITTLE TIME!

Blinque is Hooooome.

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 05:05:29 GMT

Yes yes, I'm actually home now. Although I'm particularly exhausted. I slept in and continued to nap away most of the day. I'm probably just catching up on lost rest, trust me I need it. Aside from the stresses I've been dealing with lately, I've done a lot of traveling. I believe I was in the car/bus over the past week than I have been in my entire life. xD

Sadly I missed a furmeet today. Couldn't make the bus, had no way of getting there. ;-; But I'll be swinging down around Pittsburgh sometime next week to visit Joran and hopefully see Xavier. Trying to stay out of the house when I can't keep myself busy, I'm happier that way.

Speaking of friends, I wanted to thank you guys for being there for me when I need you. More specifically, the Joran, Jinu, and Otter-face. Thank you guys sooo much for being there to talk to. It's good to know I have people there who care enough to deal with my senseless rantings and moments. There are still some things that I need to settle, problems I need to sort through myself. I'm just happy to have friends who support me and back me up. :]

Anyways I'm officially broke. I called Walmart last night to discuss when my orientation will be, and it's not til the end of next week. ;-; So yep, I'm unemployed, for yet another week. -Sighs- I'm starting to get very concerned, I'm worried I won't have the money I wanted saved up for my move in time. That's troublesome.

But there IS Anthrocon. I plan on making some money there, I'm starting preparation NOW so I'll actually be prepared this time. So wish me luck, guys! I'm definitely gonna need it!

Anyways hope to catch you guys later. Now I'm very tired, and have a cousin's birthday party to go to tomorrow. @_@ Night!

FWA

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:12:02 GMT

Well I'm back in Pittsburgh from FWA, but I'm still not home. I'm hanging out with a few friends down town until tomorrow. :] My usual pittsburgh fur friends are keeping me company. At the moment Silly-banana is playing the wii, Joran is playing DDR on the computer, Chinchy and myself were just laughing about Rob Snyder (derpa derpa), and Otterface is on his laptop. It's nice, I feel relaxed again. Funny to say a lot of the time I feel more at home with these people then I do in my actual home.

Anyways FWA went fairly well I suppose. I wasn't as prepared as I'd have liked to be, and I still owe a few badges, but most of my commissions were finished at the con and people were wearing my badges around. :] I'm pretty happy about that, and I'm looking forward to finishing up my work and getting in contact with many of the friendly faces I hung out with that that con.

I got to chill with Blackie/Plague. She is a fucking BLAST. I also met some others, a few of which I danced with, a few who commissioned me, but all in all people were very friendly and I felt like I fit right in. I didn't go to any crazy room parties, I didn't drink, I'm not a typical party animal. I just socialized, danced, and got hyped up on energy drinks, hehehe.

It's fair to say that it opened my eyes up to a lot. Some things have happened, and now I'm thinking. About a lot of things, I could say. I feel more open now, I suppose. I haven't been surrounded by so many furs since AC, and I started missing people the moment I left the hotel.

At least now I'm here, with more furries, who are willing to hug me and keep me company. I'm kind of tired, and still under a bit of stress, but I still feel a sort of inner peace I haven't felt for a while.

Anyways last night I watched Tokyo Gore Police. Effing amazing, hehe. Catch you later, guys! I've got a lot of work to get done. x_x <3

FWA

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 15:32:18 GMT

I'm at Plague's house. >.> She's showering.

-Pitter patters on her computer- God I'm so tired. Gonna take a nap then it's to artist alley. I realize now that I need to do more personal art, and update my FA more often. A few people recognized me, it's an awesome feeling. I look forward to doing more commissions and being social.

-Random explosion-

Pondering.

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 21:10:27 GMT

So I'm definitely a lot more calmed than I was in my previous journal. Two people have really been getting under my skin a lot lately. One of which my one ex, the other a friend of mine who I'm starting to think really isn't worth maintaining a friendship with.

My ex likes to talk negatively of me because I broke up with him. Heh. That's cool if you hate me, but you should NEVER snap at one of my friends for relaying a 'hello' via aim because I was sitting right next to him. Don't take your anger out on him and say all snippy-like that "If she really wants to get a hold of me she has my AIM and Cell number, she can say it herself" and then ignore my messages. What an IDIOT. I'm honestly ready to smack him upside the head! >:[

My said 'friend' is too busy to really associate with me. That's okay, I've got plenty of friends who have my back and will support me when I need them, and I'm there to do the same for them. :] My friends really do mean the world to me. And the furs I've been hanging out with a lot lately, thank you so much for being there, keeping me company, and being so much fun to be around.

Speaking of which, when I visited I had a great time. I laughed SO HARD and only wish I could've stayed longer. We played laser tag with Xavier and did a lot of drawing. All of which fun, all of which I hope to do again soon.

I don't work at McDonald's anymore, and I don't start Walmart til after FWA. So right now I just have to focus on the regular house cleaning, and getting ready for this convention! I'm really hoping to make a bit of a profit I can set aside for the big move coming up in a few months. I'm crossing my fingers, wish me luck!

:] -Sighs- All in all, I'm just looking forward to seeing my Pandy and going to this furcon.

PS - Got my new glasses, pictures will come eventually. >.>

F*CK

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 19:21:12 GMT

Don't you hate it when somebody who is supposed to be your friend does everything in his/her power to piss you off? Who COMPLETELY IGNORES EVERYTHING YOU SAY, and someone who DOESN'T PAY ATTENTION TO YOU FOR WEEKS?

I'm done texting someone who obviously doesn't appreciate my friendship. I'm done trying to be nice and getting nothing in return.

I'm ESPECIALLY done taking shit and attitude from someone who is so incredibly two faced that they can't even tell me when something's wrong or there's a problem, and would rather talk negatively about me when I'm not around.

So fuck it. I'm done with this shit.

Anybody who knows me fairly well will tell you it takes A LOT to push my buttons. It takes even more for me to get to the point where I feel like yelling and screaming and being immature about it. If I can ever get over this, it's going to be a while... Ugh.

I'm sure I'll feel better in like 2 hours when I'm in Pittsburgh and being retarded with my buddies. I just had to vent.

-Rolls out of the room-

P.S - I JUST REALIZED I HAVE NO ANGRY ICON. AHHHH I haven't been this pissed in FOREVER.

RAZOR TAG

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 02:03:41 GMT

I have a speech impediment.

Instead of saying 'LASER TAG', I said 'RAZOR TAG' when I was having a conversation with Kyra about what I was doing tomorrow.

Instantly we had the mental image of furries chasing each other with evil razors and everybody was bleeding and everybody was missing fur patches.

It was hysterical, she drew something because of it.

I'm a dumbass, and it's cool to have another furry a bit closer than Pittsburgh distance.

That is all. xD